The MPA is an association founded by the leading figures of Hollywood's Golden Age -- John Wayne, Ward Bond, Ayn Rand, John Wayne, Morrie Ryskind, John Wayne, Fred Niblo and John Wayne -- to protect the United States from pinko-commie infiltration. They mostly succeeded, and in 1975 the group disbanded. But over the last six years there's been a growing sense amongst Hollywood conservatives that this country is headed in the wrong direction, and the MPA needs to be resurrected. That finally happened last fall, thanks in large part to Adam Baldwin, who has done a bang-up job in bringing the organization back to life.
And now we've formed an alliance to rid America of filthy socialist influence.
Adam Baldwin says of this team-up:
I see great things in our future. What Brad, Larry and Vox have done with the Puppy movement is very inspiring, and I feel we can accomplish something similar in Hollywood. Just as science fiction has the Hugo Awards, we have the Academy Awards, and they've been under the control of Social Justice Warriors for even longer. Just look what happened this year -- a great patriotic movie like American Sniper was shut-out because whiny liberals don't like killing bad guys.
Well, it's about time we fixed that. After consulting with the Central Committee, we're ready to announce our Oscar campaign, the Glamour Puppies. Just as Sad Puppies started small, we'll do the same. For the first year, our goal is to get Arnold Schwarzenegger nominated as Best Actor for Terminator Genisys. The fact that Arnold's never had a nomination despite being one of our great success stories -- an immigrant who worked his way up to governor while being one of the most popular movie stars on Earth -- is a damn shame, and one we intend to see gets fixed. We'll follow that up with noms for Adam Sandler, Dennis Miller and Mel Gibson whenever they appear in movies next.
Brad Torgersen adds:
But this team-up goes both ways. Not only will we be helping Baldwin plan his Glamour Puppy campaign, but we're receiving assistance in return. Buried in the MPA's archives is a massive manifesto written by Ward Bond on the best ways to intimidate opponents into selling out their friends. We've been studying it over a month now, and we recently put it to use in our plan to get Irene Gallo fired from Tor. If it works as we think it will, we'll soon follow up by getting the Nielsen Hayden's fired and the contract for John Scalzi revoked. Kameron Hurley, Mary Robinette Kowal and the other SJWs affiliated with Tor will fall into line or risk the same fate.
Wow. We're following in the footsteps of John fucking Wayne! How awesome is that? John Scalzi couldn't even follow in the footsteps of Jm. J. Bullock, you know what I mean.
Stay tuned for more exciting developments, such as the launch of our journal Puppy Channels, which we'll use to out SJWs in the publishing industry so you can know which books to avoid.
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